My wife loved that I loved her. She loved our simple date nights, our romantic get-a-ways, and the occasional bouquets of flowers at the end of a long day at school or for no reason at all. Every day ended with us sitting on the sofa next to each other holding hands, and once in bed we would fall asleep snuggling.
I would often send her a text during the workday that read, “I love you today.” Our common reply to each other’s statement of love was, “I love you more!” To change it up and to mess with her a bit, I would often send her a text like, “I love you today but I’m not sure about tomorrow.” She was never offended. She endured my strange sense of humor.
My wife left me on 5/6/17 when God called her Home. Although she loved to hear me tell her of my love, I must admit that she initiated it more often than I, even to her last day. I still tell her I love her and that I miss her. I am now evening up the score!
One would think that after almost 35 years of marriage our relationship would have gone stale and predictable, like the couple you see at the restaurant that sit staring through each other without talking while they eat. That was never how we were. When we walked together, we held hands. When I stood next to her my arm was often around her. Our love was real and intentional.
In an effort to be totally honest the last seven months of her life were not easy for either of us as a result of all of her physical and mental struggles following multiple brain traumas and surgeries. Our role had changed to the care giver and the care receiver. I was mentally and physically exhausted after months of her being in the hospital, and when she came home my load increased. She however, never failed, never failed, to say every night as I finished getting her into her hospital bed, “I love you!” She beat me to it every night! My love hadn’t changed, but my role had. I let the load of that role get in the way.
Love is not a contest, but if it were, I can think of none worth fighting for more. We all want and need to be loved regardless of our age or station in life. My wife left a legacy of love that you and I can continue. Every day, year after year, as her little students left for the day, each got a hug. Fan the flame of love because love never fails (I Corinthians 13:8).
If this blog resonated with you, make the call, send the text, or send the email… Tell those who need to hear it from you. You may not get a second chance to let that person know what they mean to you.
Stan Means
Elder Source Senior Ministries
A Cause Worth Supporting - Give online
Get the new Elder Source Senior Ministries Mobile App
Get our new Aging E-Newspaper at agingweekly.com