Journal Entry: 10/29/17. “I dreamed about you last night. I was finishing grad school. We had dated once, but you stayed on my mind. The dream was very clear. I wanted to date you, marry you, and spend my life with you.” Then I immediately awoke, realizing I had already lived that dream. I can’t express how hollow I felt.
The same bittersweet dream occurred last night, 397 days after Sue breathed her last breath. My dreams are often powerful and thought provoking, causing me to awaken immediately, like the dream I had recently when I heard her call my name. My heart raced, and I felt as though my breath had been taken away.
I have heard that we shouldn’t try to analyze our dreams, but dreams like the three mentioned above command my attention. If I had awoke from those dreams with Sue by my side, I would have snuggled her close, gone back to sleep, and would have forgotten the dream by morning’s first light.
I write because there is too much going on in my head and my heart to ignore. A gentleman called me and told me about reading my blogs to his wife as they both started weeping. Another man commented that he wished he had read my blog 45 years ago. A young mother wrote to thank me for sharing my thoughts. Another woman wrote that God is using me to remind others not to take life for granted.
John Donne wrote, “No Man is an Island.” Perhaps I am the man on the island perched in a lighthouse issuing my warnings. “Life is fragile, slippery, and short!” “Love can find us, and sometimes, love is a choice, a commitment, a deep down in your soul determination!”
Men, love your wives, children and family as your highest calling second only to loving God. Women, I believe love is a bit more natural for you. Don’t be afraid to teach the men (husbands, sons, fathers) how to love you and others. Sue was a good teacher. I would like to say I was a good student, but at best I was a slow learner.
A few days from now, June 19, I will be on the road all day. Road trips are like mental adrenaline for me, but on that day I will be focused on two words spoken 36 years ago, “I will.” With those words and a preacher’s declaration, I became a husband to a beautiful young lady who had stolen my heart. Even in death she has refused to give it back. Love never fails, never, never, never!
I have yet to ask for my blogs to be shared, but I believe this is one that needs to be shared. Please do so if you agree.
Elder Source Senior Ministries
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